Well, I guess I can say we're VERY close to starting this process. We have had many long talks after I got my fall schedule that just so nicely interferes with my clinicals. We have come to the conclusion that it is NEVER a good time, the right time, convenient time, or a perfect time to start a family. There is ALWAYS going to be some reason it's not the right time. If we went by that logic, it could very well be years before we thought having a baby would be perfect. Ultimately, this is what we want. It's a good thing to want. I have wanted it since the day we said "I do". And, we have been trying to make it happen for over two years now. If we were to get pregnant on our own today, it would be a welcomed surprise/miracle but not exactly how we "planned" it. And that's just it, no one really gets to plan these things. You can hope you get pregnant when you want and maybe you do, maybe you don't. We DO get the
So, my new approach to the situation is...screw it! I'm going to pretend we miraculously got pregnant on our own and we are going to deal with whatever challenges that brings us because ultimately, we want a baby. So, I started my birth control last week and we are moving forward. I haven't even figured out the exact due date yet which is not like me at all. I don't care. Yes, I will still be in school. Yes, it will be difficult. Yes, I kind of know what I'm getting myself into. I have been an emotional wreck about this the past two weeks, contemplating my feelings and fearing what might be. But, I have faith that this is the right decision and I KNOW that we are strong enough to take on any challenges that this might bring. After all, who said having a kid is supposed to be easy, anyway?
We wanted a baby so badly that it didn't matter when we started our cycle. It didn't even cross our minds what our due date could be. All we knew was that we had 1 month to get pregnant before leaving the state and abandoning the hope of a pregnancy for another two year while Brian was in grad school. I started giving myself shots the last month of my senior year, had my IUI the day before finals started, and had my official pregnancy test the day I graduated. Of course, all of that led to a baby with a due date 2 days after Christmas!
ReplyDeleteI told my parents we were doing infertility treatments, and they were not supportive, especially my dad. It was really hard for me, so I chose not to really tell anyone else about it for fear of that same reaction. We didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until I was 18 weeks along and we already knew it was a girl.
Good luck with everything. You'll know what course to take and when things happen, it will be for your good.
Thanks, Mere. We definitely have the same approach. In the beginning I really worried about what other would think but I realized, I really don't care. This decision is solely between Michael and I and what is best for us. I do like when people give us encouragement and tells me I can do this but we have never really asked anyone's opinion about when to start or what they even think about IVF.
ReplyDeleteLike you, we want a baby so bad it doesn't matter at this point when we will be due. We'll work it out. Thanks!
You both have very supportive parents...that's a plus! And many supportive friends and family. I like your attitude. No time is a good time. just heard another wonderful in vitro story. They used a surrogate, which I won't get into that issue, but the point is the process was a success. The parents are both you and Michael's age. The issue of whether or not you should have gone so "public"? Well, there are plenty of people who are in your court, and I believe all those good thoughts and prayers are taken into consideration. :-)
ReplyDeleteCan I say that I'm glad you chose to share this? :) I'm happy to be here with you, following from afar, and thinking of you. I have to hope and believe that you have been met with much more understanding and support then any possible nay-saying, and like your mom, I have to believe that is a good thing, to have so many people behind you. :)
ReplyDeleteHope you don't think I'm crazy, but I found your blog through a friends...(honestly I never go to random blogs, but your title and pic on her reader caught my attention)...Anyways. I just wanted to quickly share my story. My husband got testicular cancer the beginning of my RN year of nursing school, and had to go through surgery and treatments. We were told we had one month to get pregnant if we wanted to have kids, so we did and fortunately we did get pregnant that month. I remember being so overwhelmed, because i am such a planner and I definitely was scared about starting out as a nurse and having a baby right at the same time. It all completely worked out though and we've been able to have more children since...(unplanned). I know it is a different situation than yours, but I still wanted to share, because there were parts to your story I could relate. There really is never a "perfect" time. I hope everything works out. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteKristin {above} is my friend...She married Julie Mathews brother Sean, so really we're all connected aren't we??
ReplyDeleteHaving a baby during school is difficult. I had Abbey during Christmas break before my LAST semester of hygiene. I'm sure it was hard, hectic, and tiring. But Honestly, I can hardly remember. I do remember snuggling my new baby, enjoying her, and loving being a mom, so I guess those things outweigh the craziness.
GOOD LUCK--we will be thinking about you and praying for you!
Kristen-You are not random. I knew who you were when I read the first line of your comment. I've never met you, but I've heard a lot about you. You know I'm Broc's cousin, right? And, Britny's sis-in-law/cousin? Thanks for your comment. Your story is simply miraculous.
ReplyDeleteRach-thanks for saying that. I really need to hear things like that to make me realize it CAN be done.
To everyone else- thank you! I've quickly realized that sharing this blog is better than not. Even if we don't get the outcome we want, we have so much support. Thank you.
You are so brave! Braver then I! I didn't know if I could face the heart break of unsuccessful IUI treatments publicly. So I cried privatly. I am wondering how "public" I feel like being as I've already divulged our infertilitiy issues to the world and we are now thinking about number two. I wonder, will it be harder? Would it be easier. Would I care if everyone knew that I was wondering if I was pregnant right now? I still have yet to decided!
ReplyDeleteWe worried too, about being public with the processes we went through. In the end it was a lot of stress to keep inventing excuses for not adopting while people tried to sell us on the idea. In reality, the whole time, it was already in the process.
ReplyDeleteAt least with the blog it's a happy medium, those who care to can follow all the details, and those who don't...don't. Share as much or as little as you like.
I can't imagine anyone being anti-procreation (other peoples), no matter how it happens. As far as timing goes, being a new parent is overwhelming, and it's almost easier to have something else "normal" happening that you're used to to help keep you anchored. It's like you won't have time to obsess if you're busy with other stuff too. and you'll have PLENTY of help. If you need people to stay with you during finals week to take care of the baby, I can think of more than a few volunteers....