Crybaby...

Hallelujah! My Med/Surg clinical rotations are done.  I am on the downward slope of this crazy roller coaster.  I just have 5 grueling lectures left in Med/Surg as well as OB (although, those are not so grueling for me, I'm in love with OB).  I have four lab/clinicals for OB that start in a couple of weeks and I can't wait!  Aside from the first clinical day of Med/Surg, I had really awesome experiences on all the different units I worked on.  I had wonderful nurses who taught me so much and I learned a ton.  I learned a lot about myself too:

#1-I'm a cry baby.  I kind of already knew this about myself but I didn't know that I do not have the ability to keep my emotions in check on the job.  I cried when I was on the Medical/Oncology unit, entering a patient's room to give her a bed bath.  She was on hospice and her entire family was there.  It took me literally three seconds for my eyes to well-up with big alligator tears when I saw their faces, looking at their dying mother.  I quickly scooted into the bathroom behind the CNA (who, thank goodness, happened to be a good friend of mine) and blotted my tears from my face.  I also cried when I saw a 65 year old man, thank his 57 years old sister for being there for his surgery.  He held her hand and told her how much he loved her and appreciated her for being by his side all their life, and he cried.  I sat there wishing I had that same relationship with my brother.  I cried when I admitted a 20 year old boy-man that just got a new kidney from his sister.  He started to cry when he said he was so glad he didn't have to be on dialysis anymore but that he wanted to go back to the clinic to thank all the people there for what they have done for him over the last 7 years.  I guess along with the gag reflex, not crying in front of patients is yet another unwanted trait need I need to work on.  But...

#2-I absolutely can control my gag reflex.  I had throw-up guy on my last day and I can't tell you how proud I am of myself that I did not once feel like I was going to lose my lunch.  This guy could not keep anything down.  He was throwing up stomach acid and bile and doing it about every 30 minutes.  It was so gross and I felt so bad for him because he was so miserable.  To my evil gag reflex's credit, I can't say that I had very many worthy opponents and I'm sure I will get the opportunity to really test it out in the near future.

#3-The most important thing I learned...I think know I can really do this.  I have found my groove.  I have definitely doubted sometimes through the last three semesters if this is really for me (mostly because of the nasty gag reflex). I now know that it is.  It's hard, I mean really hard and I think my classmates would agree.  We were just saying yesterday, yet again, we don't know that we will survive and that it really blows sometimes but we all agreed that it is so fun!!  Through all the tears and melt downs, we are still having such a blast!


*Although I really am having fun, this pretty much sums up the last four weeks beautifully.  This is one of our many study groups on my lunch break.


I am really looking forward to having a few weeks off in August to read for pleasure, maybe take a Sunday nap again and seeing a lot more of Michael hopefully. I also start my meds for our IVF on the 22nd of August.  Sheesh!  I must be crazy.