Some Changes...

I cannot believe how busy this semester is already and we are only a couple of weeks in.  I study almost every minute I am not sleeping, eating, or pooping.  Sorry for saying poop but it's true.  I have really had to apply myself and come up with new way to study.  Honestly, I have never had to study very much to do well...so far.  I actually bombed my first test of the semester.  In my program you need an average of 78% on all of your tests to pass the class...I got a 74%.  It's been a very humbling experience for me.  I was completely unprepared for what they were dishing out.  We shall see on Tuesday if my new "I'm-sorry-but-I-can't-(fill in the blank), I'm-studying" method works out.  I hope family and friends do not take it personally that I will be ignoring them all summer.  Hopefully it will be better come August.

On a brighter note, there has been a little change of plans.  Michael is quitting his second job!  This was a tough decision and one that came with a lot of thought and prayer.  See, we actually went to see a therapist.  My work has a free employee assistance program that offers counseling and we took advantage of it because we wanted to make sure WE were okay.  We are definitely okay, more than okay.  But, we did so some prophylaxis on our relationship.  We have been so consumed with our fertility issues that because of the lack of time we have together, it seemed like it was the only thing we have in common lately.  Let me say again, we are more than fine!  We have had no issues in our relationship that caused us to think that we might not be, but we have been warned that infertility can do a number on a married couple's relationship.  I really think we went mostly for a professional's confirmation that we are a cute, loving couple and because we really like to talk about ourselves.  Anyway, she confirmed that we are cute and loving and that yes, we like to talk about ourselves.  She did get us thinking though.  She reminded us that all of the stresses in our life are ones that we have chosen.  She suggested that we think about Michael quitting his second job.  At the time, I thought that was a terrible idea since quitting his job would just be eliminating one stress and adding another.  We still need money to do this so...

I have been thinking about this since then and Michael thinks about it all the time since his job is miserable and he doesn't have a day off.  I love his hard work and dedication to do anything to make this all possible for us. He always has a great attitude, even when he doesn't want to do something.  But, lately he has become depressed and mopey and it's been hard for him to hide his feelings about the job.  I told him a few weeks ago that I missed him because he hasn't been the same guy for a couple of months.  So...no day off, no time together, not being able to go to church, hating the actual work, and basically having no life...it got me thinking.

Up until the today I thought there was no way we would decide that quitting would be the best thing for us right now.  I have been pondering and praying about this ever since the counseling session.  As I was sitting (alone) in Sunday school, something came to me very quietly.  Money is just money.  We will always make more.  Michael needs to quit his job.  The money is not worth sacrificing the most important things in our life right now.  I felt like it's more important for him to be at church every Sunday and for us to have a little more time together.  We have been trying to focus on church, going to the temple, and what's really important.  Money is not one of those things.  I know we will be blessed for doing this.  I just really feel like this is the right thing for us to do and I didn't have to talk Michael into it.  We will continue to pray for other opportunities to make a little extra money for our IVF but either way, it's going to happen.  If we have to charge it then...CHARGE IT!  I'm really good at that.

I Believe In Miracles...

I started school again today.  It looks like it's going to be one busy semester.  I'm excited about it because I'm banking on it flying by.  In just ten short weeks I will be finished with another semester and officially half-way done with nursing school, Michael will be finished with the Census job and baking in the Lake Powell sun, and we will be so close to starting our IVF cycle.  I cannot wait to start!

I have been trying to think of the blessings our infertility has brought me.  Well, one of the blessings has definitely been a good friend, K, whom I was introduced by another good friend, several months ago.  Our mutual friend had read my blog and suggested that K and I become friends on Facebook because she too, struggled with infertility.  Our situations are exactly the same, we are the same age, and after talking to her, turns out we were going to the same doctor.  We started emailing, chatting on Facebook, and talking on the phone.  This woman has been an incredible support to me.  It was so good to talk to somebody who was going through the exact same thing I was.  We can talk about any issue and not worry about getting some lame, hurtful-but-mean-well comment.  We finally met face-to-face when we were at our IVF consult and she was there, getting an ultrasound.  She started her first IVF cycle a couple of months ago.  We went to dinner with K & D last week and Michael said he couldn't believe what good friends we have become in such a short time.  I cannot express how emotionally attached I became to her process.  I have never prayed so hard for another person in my life.  I wanted so badly for K & D to become parents.  I did two fasts for them and was so emotional after her transfer, I broke down.  I prayed so hard right then and asked Heavenly Father to make it be okay.  I immediately felt at peace.

Fast forward to today...K is pregnant!  Words cannot express the gratitude I feel today.  It is truly a miracle that she is pregnant.  Unfortunately, for the infertiles, getting that positive test does not necessarily put us at ease.  It is definitely a huge hurdle left in the dust but then we worry about the second test.  The HcG numbers have to double in 48 hours.  Then, two weeks later, the viability scan.  I know in my heart that this pregnancy will be uneventful for K and she will be a great mom.  Congrats on your miracle K & D!!

D.O.N.E.

Another semester down, just four more to go...ugh.  I just found out I pulled off an A-, which is not easy task in Fundies (Nursing Fundamentals).  No, I didn't cry when I found out it was an A minus.  It's kind of impossible to get a solid A in nursing school when an A is 95% or above.  I know, rude.  You basically have to be nearly perfect on all of your tests to do that.  It was fun getting to know all the people in my class...I mean really, really getting to know.  Bowel patterns, menstrual cycles, urinary continence (it's okay, some of us pee a little when we sneeze), gag reflexes (mainly mine...working on it), and general weird habits and quirks.

These are the people in my clinical group on our last day of clinical.  That was a beautiful day and seems like forever ago.  I'm going to miss them this semester.  I had to switch to another group because of my work schedule.  Boo.

We started a tradition of going to Village Inn after our tests to drown our sorrows and anxiety in pie!  Free pie Wednesdays!

Stefanie, Me, Cori, and Flint practicing in the lab.

 

       This is my lab partner, Marie.

Me and Stef, practicing wraps. Lame but we have become quite good friends.

Stefanie giving me her first shot.  I know it looks like I'm freaked out but I really did trust her.  She was just so nervous.  She did a great job...I didn't feel a thing.

Cori and I with our Shim.  It's half male, half female.

Tuesday night study group in the cafeteria.  I had to come study on my lunch break since I worked Tuesday nights.

This coming summer semester is going to be the definition of crazy.  We have OB and Med Surg I.  I am really looking forward to delivering babies and learning more about the basics of nursing but we are going to be beyond busy.  Eight-12 hour clinicals, weekly test, eight hour class days, preloading the night before said 12 hour clinicals, and the dreaded 12 hours-to-write care plans.  It will be over in ten short weeks.  Bring it on!

 (Thanks, Marie for being our group historian and always taking all the pictures!)