29 Weeks...

How far along? 29.4 weeks

Total weight gain: 19lbs. Not too bad. I thought it would be more but I really don't eat nearly as much as I should but I'm not worried since they are monitored so closely and gaining weight appropriately.

Sleep? Sleep? What is that? I would probably be sleeping a little better if we weren't deathly ill in this house. Between Sam and I, no one is sleeping.

Best moment of the week?  My baby shower! My friend, Joy, and my sisters put together a beautiful, girly shower for our girls. There was a head band making station and beautiful memory books people could write in. I was not as emotional as I thought I would be but it definitely was surreal. I don't think it has sunk in that I'm having two girls. I've been in boy mode for so long and I haven't bought anything yet so opening all the girly clothes was a trip for me. It did make me a little sad knowing Cora may not get to enjoy all the beautiful, pink things she got but they are hers and I like knowing that even though they are just "things", they belong to her.

Miss anything?  Being healthy. Oh, I thought I was miserable before being sick. This is horrible. I'm currently fighting the flu and Sam is too. I've been praying for Michael to stay healthy and so far, so good. So much for flu shots.

Movement? Yes. Wiggly little girls. Seriously, they never stop. Last appointment they were both head down and now Cora is breech again. The little monkey had better flip again.

Food cravings? I wish I could eat anything at all. I have ZERO appetite right now being sick. I force myself to choke something down even though I can't taste it.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope. I'm lucky this illness is all respiratory and nothing to do with GI. That would be truly unbearable.

Labor signs? No. Although, I've had to have my doctor reassure me that my water can't break or my uterus rupture from coughing. I really think I pulled a muscle in my belly from coughing.

Gender?  My sweet girls. Cora Lynn and Elena Kate.

Symptoms? The usual aches and pains. I'm never completely comfortable. I always said that if I was ever fortunate to get pregnant, I would NEVER complain. Well, I complain...a lot. I feel bad when I do but it is so hard on the body to carry two babies. I can't breathe well, my body aches, and I don't sleep well. I think I finally have my heartburn under control. I started taking Zantac and that has really helped. A couple of facts about my body...my belly button has popped out. It never did pop out with Sam's pregnancy but it definitely has with this one. I also found my first stretch mark (ever) this week. I was pretty traumatized. It's a doozy. I never got any with Sam and assumed that I never would. At 29 weeks and a bit more to grow, I'm terrified for what's to come.

Happy or Moody? Moody mostly. It's just the sickness. I can't wait to feel better. Happy my girls are still with us and happy that we have another week under our belt.

Looking forward to...?  Being in the thirties. I feel like we have been in the twenties forever!  

Realization of the week? We are in the single digits on the countdown! Only 8-9 weeks left! The plan is to get me to 38 weeks and then we will be meeting these girls! I will be induced on 4/4/14 if I don't go on my own by then. Things are looking great for a vaginal delivery. It appears Elena (baby B) is going to make her entrance first which is favorable since she is bigger and will be able to fully dilate me. They were both head down at my last appointment which they said was unlikely to change at this point but I went back this week because of this flu and Cora had flipped again. She is small so I'm not surprised. Hopefully she will flip again soon and stay put.

29 weeks

27 Weeks...Hello Third Trimester!

Hello third trimester! You have no idea how much I have been longing to see you! After over a month of feeling like time was standing still, I finally feel like I'm making progress. I'm floored by how quickly the last week went by. I just hope the next weeks go by as quickly.

Lots have happened here lately. I've been keeping a little journal on the side and I hope to post some of those thoughts on the blog but it's seriously so hard to do anything like that with "Hurricane Sam" running around. We have been in the middle of finishing our basement for about 6 months now. It's finally looking like it will be "done" within the week. By "done" I mean livable. It will be another little while before the bathroom is completely finished. All the contents of the basement are currently sitting in the girls' room and I'm getting really antsy or "nesty" to get the room in order. I had a major meltdown yesterday. Our house is covered in drywall dust, "stuff" is everywhere is shouldn't be, our garage is full of construction items. I can't handle it anymore. I know, first world problems, right? I feel like a ticking time bomb. I'm confident these babies aren't coming any time soon but I feel like I have an expiration date. Things are getting tougher. Work is harder, changing Sam's diaper is harder, going to the grocery store is harder. We were at the store yesterday and after several times of Sam dropping his toy on the floor, I just left it. I couldn't bend over to pick it up one more time. So, I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed by the things we need to prepare for and I have a really hard time asking for or accepting help. The Relief Society has been great and gave me a list of people willing to watch Sam. I need to be more gracious and take them up on it. When I work, it's difficult to recover the next day and I need to rest. Anyway, here are the 27 weeks stats.

How far along? 27 weeks

Total weight gain? I'm not sure. 15+ lbs so far. I go back to the doctor in a week and half. We will see then.

Sleep? Not great. I was so spoiled with Sam's pregnancy. I slept great until the very end with my pregnancy pillow with him. It takes me 10 minutes to get in the right position and then I inevitably have to get up and go the bathroom! I toss and turn a lot and the heartburn is starting to wake me up at night. Or is it the peeing that wakes me up and I just happen to have heartburn? Michael has been great and gets up with Sam when he wakes up at night which is happening frequently (he is cutting four molars, poor baby).

Best moment of the week?  Michael surprised me for my birthday and took me to get a 3D ultrasound of the girls! It was a special day. Elena was not so cooperative but Cora was all smiles for the camera after some persuasion. She looks great and is so beautiful. It was fun to see her wiggling around. It did tug at my heart a little. It's just so hard to accept sometimes, especially when she is moving all around and smiling. 

Miss anything?  Sleep, bending over, standing up without effort...things of this nature.

Movement? Yes! All.the.time. I get nervous when they stop because it doesn't seem normal for them not to be moving. I'm getting better at telling which one is moving so that is comforting. Little Miss Cora hasn't moved as much as she usually does today. It makes me nervous but then she will be acting like a monkey later tonight.

Food cravings? Lemonade and water.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope. I'm lucky.

Labor signs? No, no. I've hit 27 weeks. There is a running joke in my family about the "27 week curse". That is when my sister's water broke with her preemie and I had a bleeding episode with Sam. Those both happened in California so hopefully I'm safe!

Gender?  My sweet girls. Cora Lynn and Elena Kate.

Symptoms? Heartburn...Tums are still my best friend. I've had this off and on groin pain. I never experienced it with Sam but oh me, oh my! I can't breathe most of the time. Being pregnant with two is so much different than one. Duh! I didn't expect it though. I thought it would be easy breezy honestly. I was wrong.

Happy or Moody? I'm happy. Something changed this week. After the 3D ultrasound, I have started to feel like we will be blessed with time with Cora. I don't know why I feel this way and don't know if it's intuition, hope, or just a strong desire. It makes me uneasy feeling this way because I have been so wrong about so many things. I knew that everything was going to be okay and it's not. My attitude has definitely shifted though. I'm having two girls and I am trying to plan for that as normally as anyone would. There is a part of me that wishes no one knew about the diagnosis. I don't like people treating me differently or treating the expectations of the pregnancy differently than they would others. At the same time, I am deeply grateful for people checking up on me and asking how I am doing because I really need that. I would be equally annoyed if people just disappeared (some already have) and never recognized the situation. I want people and myself to freely talk about Cora and ask questions but I know I can't control the way people feel about it. Can you see the conflicting emotions?

Looking forward to...?  Our next visit with Angel Watch next week. I guess we start birth planning  so I'm excited. 

Realization of the week? Anything can happen. A month ago, I felt like we were handed a death sentence. I have since learned that I should expect anything. She could live. There are living T18 babies everywhere. I know this is not the norm but there is so much doctors don't know. They just lump these babies into one diagnosis and prognosis but every case is so different. I think our doctor has been honest with us regarding his experience with these kids and it's not great but I know we can have some time with her.

Here is our little monkey, Miss Cora Lynn, aka Baby A

What's In A Name...

We finally have names for our girls! We still affectionately call them Baby A and Miss B sometimes but I'm trying to use their names more. I know I will not get to use Baby A's name nearly as much as I would like to in my lifetime so I try to refer to her name as much as possible. Here they are... 

Cora Lynn Hall (A)

&

Elena Kate Hall (B)

We have known that Cora's name is her name for quite sometime but didn't want to announce it until we were solid about Elena. Cora is a very special name to me and has been for a long time. When Michael and I were dating he told me he loved the name Cora which floored me because it's not very common and it means so much to me. When I was a nanny a million years ago, I took care of a beauty named Cora and ever since then I've always dreamed about naming a girl Cora. Michael liked it because he liked the book, Last of the Mohicans and the main character is named Cora. We have talked about Cora so much over the years of trying to have kids that we weren't sure we were going to use it but when we found out about her condition, it just seemed right. Elena was Kate for a while but when we referred to her as that, it just never seemed right. We had this long list of girls names we loved and were sure that Miss B's name was on there. Elena was never on there. I was looking through girl nurseries on Pinterest and "Elena" was on the wall. It was not the first time I heard that name, obviously, but it just seemed to fit and Michael really loved it. Can't wait to put faces to the names!

Thoughts...

I have been itching to write down my feeling. I really should start carrying a notebook because I have these thoughts that I want to remember and when I get a chance to sit down and blog, they are gone. It's hard to write on the computer when you have a monkey trying to "help" type. I really don't know how these "mommy bloggers" do it? I could do it at nap time but that is also my nap time as well.

Does anyone else feel like there is a dark cloud looming over 2013? I feel like everywhere I turn there is another story of poor prenatal diagnosis, babies and children passing away, marriages breaking up, cancer diagnosis, etc. I cannot handle it right now. It makes me a little terrified but also hopeful that 2014 will be a blessed year for everyone and that all these families can find peace. I admit I have sought out these stories a little for the sake of information and research but not most. I finally had to close my computer and take a break for a week because I just couldn't read one more story of heartache and grief. It was becoming too much for my heart and soul. I was internalizing so much of these trisomy stories, that I felt like I will never be happy again and that no baby will ever be born healthy again. I haven't gotten back on the computer yet as far as learning about what is going on with our baby girl. What is going on with her?

Gosh, it is so hard to accept that she is not well. On ultrasound, despite the fact she is small, you would never know anything is wrong with her. Typically, trisomy 18 babies have many problems you can see on ultrasound. Heart defects, failing kidneys, intestines outside the body, cleft palate, diaphramatic hernias, underdeveloped lungs. She has none of these. None. She is small and has a very mild club foot (which is common in twins). That's it. It's hard to know what to expect with the lack of problems. We were feeling hopeful after the fetal echo showed no heart defects but sobered up very quickly after the next ultrasound. We desperately want to have a crystal ball to tell us is she will make it to birth or not. We just don't know. All our wonderful doctor can tell us is statistics. Statistically, 75-90% of T18 babies will be stillborn despite the anomalies. The plan, or hope, is to get me to 37 weeks and deliver vaginally. My doctor doesn't want me to have to recover from a c-section (and neither do I), especially if she is born alive.

We are really trying to take it one day at a time. I'm searching for ways to connect with her and make the most of our precious time together. I'm struggling a little. I talk to her and her sister a lot. I'm slowly finding the joy in all of this because there is joy. She has her body and she will be perfected and resurrected. She will be watching over us and with us forever. But some days, some moments, I just can't help but think how much this sucks. I feel robbed of the joy I should be feeling. I'm jealous of anyone who is expecting a healthy baby. I'm even jealous of my former self a little. I look at pictures during our lowest infertility times and I think of how much easier that was compared to this. I think of the things I have to think about right now (infant caskets, funeral costs, saying goodbye) and laugh because I just don't believe this is happening sometimes. I've also realized that we haven't even really begun this journey. We haven't even lost her yet. No matter when that happens, I don't think I am prepared for that. We have the rest of our lives to remember her, to long for her, to wish she were here on earth with her family. Suddenly, I'm exhausted.

I have no idea what's in store. I'm just going through the typical phases of grief, though in no particular order. I understand that grief is not linear. One does not graduate from the first phase and move on to step two. I wish. One day at a time...

23 & 24 Weeks...

23 weeks

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain? I think around 12lbs. It's going good. I'm not so concerned about the lack of weight gain now since they are monitored so closely.

Sleep? Not great, to be honest. I almost don't look forward to bed time (almost). I just can't lay on one side for very long so I wake-up every couple of hours to pee and turn over. It takes me a few minutes to get in a comfy position again. If I go over 2 hours without turning over, it's a great night but I wake-up sore from being in the same position for too long. I have to say my husband is one of a kind. Despite him having to get up early to go to work, he insists on getting up with Sam if he wakes up which has happened a lot lately. Poor kid has gotten 6 new teeth in the last couple of weeks including all four one-year molars (ouch!).

Best moment of the week?  Christmas! What a great day! We kept things really simple and had lots of fun just being together. It was fun to play Santa even though Sam doesn't really get it yet. He was still really excited to see all the presents under the tree in the morning.

Miss anything?  Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

Movement? Yes! I've been so relieved to be able to feel them consistently. I am also starting to be able to tell them apart. That is also a relief. I have been afraid of going to an ultrasound and seeing that Baby A has left us and not even knowing it. I think I will be able to tell now if she hasn't moved. I have read that Trisomy 18 babies don't move very much in utero. This is not true for our girl. They are BOTH monkeys! I swear for three days straight, they didn't sleep because they were constantly moving! I talk to them when I first feel them it the morning. I say 'good morning' and tell them what we are going to do that day.

Food cravings? No cravings. I've enjoyed all the holiday goodies and the guilt free gorging. However, "goring" for me is pretty pathetic for a 24 week pregnant lady. I just cannot eat very much in one sitting and have to remind myself to eat.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Just reflux will occasionally be so bad that I have a hard time keeping it down. Pizza still makes me have reflux so bad that I throw-up. I think it's it the acidic tomato sauce. I avoid all things like that. My bottle of Tums is my best friend right now.

Labor signs? No and I'm not having as many Braxton Hicks anymore which is a relief. At my last ultrasound, the tech said my cervix was miles long. That made me happy. They last I need to be worrying about is preterm labor and bed rest. It makes me feel a bit more easy that I have technically reached "viability", although, I don't want them to come any time soon. It's just nice to know that if anything happens, they could survive. Every week from now on is gravy.

Gender?  My sweet girls. We finally have names which I will announce in my next post.

Symptoms? Heartburn, can't breath, can't get comfortable. 

Happy or Moody? Trying to be happy. I am happy. Writing things down helps but it always brings me back to reality. It's just so hard accept this. Sam makes me happy. The time I have with these girls makes me happy. Michael makes me happy. I still cry a least once a day but I think I'm more happy than I am sad.

Looking forward to...?  Our next visit with Angel Watch. I will write about our Angel Watch visit next time. It was very bittersweet and it is a wonderful program.

Realization of the week? Only 3 months until these girls come (hopefully not sooner). That sounds like an eternity to someone who feels like they are ready to pop but I'm expecting it to fly by. I feel like I have been stuck at the same gestation for a month. I think it's because when we found out at 20 weeks about our baby girl, time stopped in our world.

Weeks 20 & 21

22 weeks

How far along? 21 weeks

Total weight gain? I think around 10 lbs now. Half way there and still haven't gained as much as I did with Sam. It's a steady weight gain though. 

Sleep? Despite everything going on, I have had a couple of really great night . Only one potty break and not a lot of tossing and turning. I know I dream still but forget them quickly when I wake up.

Best moment of the week?  I can't honestly say that I can think of anything as a great moment. I have little moments of realization of how blessed I am. My little Sam can always bring a smile to my face. Another great moment was when Michael finally felt the girls for the first time. I hope he can feel them daily now so he can start to connect with our girls.

Miss anything?  When life was simpler? When life was blissful? I know I am being a downer but so many times this week I was wishing to go back to about week 14 when we thought everything was going to be okay. Blissful ignorance. That's what I miss.

Movement? Yes! They have both been head down and now they both have flipped to breech. I have been kicked where I have never been kicked before. Sam was always head down so I never got the pleasure of experiencing being kicked in the nether regions. Not surprising, I don't feel baby girl A as easily as her sister. She is much smaller and I fear that she is falling even more behind. Once in a while, I will distinctly feel her and it makes me happy and relieved. I am so scared she is going to pass away and I won't know it.

Food cravings? None this week. I have had to force myself to eat. I really have liked applesauce lately but don't have any on hand. I eat it at work. I try to up my calories but it's really hard when you have no appetite.

Anything make you queasy or sick? No. I have really felt pretty good physically. The heartburn is setting in big time. That was my biggest challenge with Sam and I have a feeling it's only going to get worse.

Labor signs? No, but having a lot of Braxton Hicks. I told my doctor about them and he said it's normal because having two babies will cause a lot more growing pains. As long they are not regular I should be fine. I have been trying to increase my water intake and that has seemed to help.

Gender?  My sweet girls. We are so close to nailing down names. We are so bad with names. Our names have to sink in before they stick. We are getting more and more anxious about them not being named under the circumstances.

Symptoms? Peeing at night, heartburn, and back pain. The back pain has been a little better in the last couple of days but I've had a few days off so it will start all over again when I work another shift.

Happy or Moody? Oh man. How do I answer this question? I just read what I wrote at 18 weeks and I want to cry. We will not be bringing home both our girls. How can that not make me moody? I have had some good days since finding out. I have had a couple of really bad days. Yesterday was particularly rough for no reason. I just woke up feeling like my world had been shattered. I couldn't wait for the day to be over because the next day had to be better. I understand a lot of about grief. I know grief is not linear. You don't move from one step to the other and never move back so that is all to be expected. I just long for those happy days. Today was much better but after I put my Sammy to bed, I felt the heaviness starting to weigh on my chest and I have been fighting it ever since.

Looking forward to...?  Being happy. I'm terrified I may never be truly happy again. I do have faith that everything will be okay but how? How is it going to be okay when she is not here with her sister? I know we will find our new normal but what is that going to be? We struggled for so long to have our children and finally found joy and peace. Now, I'm afraid our new normal will be devoid of true peace. I pray this isn't true.

Realization of the week? A real downer of a post this week. I realized we probably won't be bringing both girls home. I went into the room that will be their room and saw their car seats. I lost it. I just can't believe this is happening. Our greatest hope and prayer is that she is born alive and hangs on for her sister's sake. We would be so grateful to have any time with her alive. That is our prayer.

20 weeks...The Week Our Lives Changed Forever

I'm not sure when to begin. I have really lacked documenting this pregnancy and now I regret it which I knew I would eventually would. I haven't had the motivation because I have been so worried from week 12 about these girls. It's hard to take belly shots and post about mundane symptoms when I fear that something is really wrong.

Let me back up...We found out in August we were pregnant after our 4th round of IVF. We were thrilled but I had the typical 1st trimester nerves. We went in for our very first ultrasound at 7 weeks. We saw two little heartbeats but something didn't sit right. Baby A's heartbeat was on the low side of normal. Baby B's was good although not as fast as Sam's was at that stage. I thought I was having boys again. I was not convinced Baby A's would still be beating at our 9 week ultrasound. We returned at 9 weeks and both of their heartbeats were super fast and I was finally a little relieved but still had that early pregnancy anxiety.

Fast forward to 12 weeks when we had our first OB appointment. We knew we would get another ultrasound and were excited to have that sense of relief seeing two heartbeats still. The tech started scanning us and we saw two great heartbeats. I was relieved and thought I could finally start being excited. That feeling quickly ended when the tech was scanning Baby A pretty extensively. She was looking at blood flow in the heart and measured the NT (something that I knew was not a normal thing). I tried not to panic but as we were waiting for her to come back into the room after the scan, my mind was racing. She came back and asked her why she measured the NT. She simply said it was abnormal and the doctor would talk to us about it. My heart sank. In my profession and my obsessive need to know superfluous information about pregnancy and fertility, I knew this meant something might be wrong with our baby. Our doctor came in and started talking about markers for chromosomal abnormalities. My head was spinning. I was desperately trying to hold out some hope that it could be nothing but they wanted to be honest and let us know the odds were still in our favor but not great (about 1 in 5 for Down's Syndrome). If the chromosomes were normal, we may be dealing with a heart issue. We set an appointment to meet with a genetic counselor the next day and she was really great but even more gloomy than our wonderful doctor was. She went over testing options and we opted to not do anything invasive. We had the blood test, MaterniT21, that is over 99% accurate. We felt comfortable with that even though it only tested for the most common chromosome issues. For 7 days we prayed and waited and pondered what our life would be like if we had a child with Down's Syndrome (their most likely guess). I was scared and devastated but after making a trip to the LDS temple, I felt like things were going to be okay. I prayed for peace and comfort for our family. I was in California and Michael was on business in Wisconsin when I got the results and found out that our girls were GIRLS, and they both had typical chromosomes. No Down's, no other Trisomies. Hallelujah! We were told there was still a potential heart issue and that we needed to monitor closely but we were relieved we weren't facing the challenge of having a child with a chromosome issue.

Scan after scan, she was doing okay. They saw nothing at the 16 week ultrasound but her growth was a little behind. I wasn't too concerned. She was actually catching up to her sister. Baby B was 4 days ahead of my due date and baby A was 4 days behind my due date. They don't like to see twins with more than week difference in size. So, her growth was one more thing they needed monitor closely.

It's amazing how fast things can change. At my last ultrasound, I was 19.3 weeks. I was nervous knowing this was the "big ultrasound" where they scan all the anatomy and we could better tell if there was a heart issue. I was also anxious to see if she finally caught up with her sister in growth because that is how she was trending. The tech immediately started scanning and my heart sank. The first measurement came back 17.4 weeks. I couldn't believe she was so small. By the way, you know things are not good when the tech is quiet. We have had a lot of quiet ultrasounds. When things are good they are more than happy to comment on how perfect your baby looks. She moved to the heart and I asked if there were four chambers and she said yes. Something didn't look right to me. She moved to the legs and I could tell something was off but again, didn't know what. She said she was all done and the doctor would be in.

This was the first appointment we had where we didn't see my normal doctor. We saw one of his partners, Dr. Sullivan. She was wonderful too. She got right to the point and told us the things that were concerning. First, her growth. Very concerning that she fell so far behind. The heart didn't look normal to her either but she is not a specialist so she couldn't say what. The baby's right foot looked like it might be a club foot. And finally, the bowel was showing up brighter than normal (called an echogenic bowel), a marker for chromosome issues. Naturally our heads were spinning and we wondered what we were dealing with since we already ruled out the most common abnormalities. Was it something super rare that no one has heard of before or was it nothing at all and "just a heart issue"?

We opted to do the amnio this time. I was a ball of nerves with the small risk associated with it but I knew we needed to know what we were up against. It hurt. I hope I never have to do that again. We were told we would have the preliminary results in 48 hours which put us to Black Friday so maybe not until Monday. I wasn't too anxious about those results since we had already been tested for the disorders that come back initially. Oh man, was I wrong.

Dr. Draper text me on Saturday morning and asked if I could call him. It's never a good sign when your doctor wants to talk to you asap. My heart sank and I got teary. Michael was outside working on Christmas lights. I ran out to get him as I was dialing. When they told us at 12 weeks that it was probably Down's Syndrome I was devastated but after a little while I felt up to the challenge to raise such a special spirit. However, I was relieved that it was not DS when we got the results of our first test. In that moment I called Dr. Draper, I found myself hoping for the thing that I feared the most. I was hoping it was DS. It was not. He told us it was Trisomy 18. He asked me what I knew about Trisomy 18, or Edward's Syndrome. I told him I knew it was "not compatible with life". That's a pretty harsh label, "not compatible with life". I knew that most Trisomy 18 babies did not make it to term and if the did, they only live for hours to days if you are lucky. Every case is so different to so it's hard to know what to expect.

So, for that past few days we have been crying, processing, and praying. Our greatest hope and prayer is that we get to see her alive, even if it's just for a moment. We are in a very unique situation, having another baby to grow as well. If she passes away in utero, I am at greater risk for preterm labor than I already am with twins. I am really hoping to make it to 37 weeks. I really need to bring one baby home with me. I don't think I could bear leaving baby B behind in the NICU. My greatest fear is losing them both. We have no reason to suspect baby B is not completely healthy.

This is something that we never thought we would be faced with. I naively thought we did the hard part. Getting our babies here has been such challenge that it wouldn't be "fair" if we lost one. Now, burying a child is very real to us and we are trying to navigate our way through what lies ahead. I have asked, "why us?" but then I thought, "why not us?". No one has something like this happen to them and thinks, "oh yeah, I see, I had this coming to me". I am trying to sort out my emotions because they can be very confusing at time. So much grief with so much joy and gratitude that I was chosen to be these girls mom and carry this special spirit. I get most emotional that Sam and her sister will never know her in this life. Her sister should have her twin with her. It's not fair. I have so much more to say about how I feel but I will have to save that for another day. For now, I am just trying to enjoy and appreciate everyday we have with her. This has made me want to document like crazy and celebrate all the milestones in this pregnancy.

I love you, baby A. Hopefully we will have a name for you soon so you don't have to keep being referred to as "baby A".