22 and 23 Weeks!

 

22.4 weeks

How far along? 22.5 weeks

Total weight gain: I'm finally up on my weight. At my 20 week appointment I had gained 5 lbs! 5lbs in one month! I'm happy about that. I have really been focusing on getting 100g of protein a day. It's not as hard as I thought it would be and my favorite bed time snack is Greek yogurt with blueberries, Stevia, and protein granola. I think they went through a growth spurt because for three days in a row, I couldn't get satisfied. I was hungry all.the.time. We'll see what my weight has been doing the last month next week.

Sleep? I'm sleeping okay. Just tossing and turning a lot and repositioning. The Pillow is helping a lot. Michael still hates it because its huge! Apparently I'm snoring like man. My dear husband is so wonderful. I'm much less tolerant of snoring and always nudge him to roll over when he snores (which only happens when he has allergies). He doesn't touch me. I'm super congested, especially at night. I am not hearing my kids at night as much as I normally do so I must not be sleeping too bad.

Best moment of the week?  It was a couple of weeks ago but hearing everything looks great with babies at my 20 week ultrasound. They were both measuring where they should. Baby girl is a little smaller and baby boy is a little bigger. All the anatomy looked normal and there was nothing to be concerned about. Of course there can't be anything 100% free from worry. Apparently there is a measurement/ratio that measures head to long bone ratio. It will be flagged if the ratio is high. Both babies were flagged for "increased risk of chromosomal anomalies" because they both have big heads. My doctor hates this measurement because the long bones are measuring just perfectly... they just have big heads. All of my kids do. He is not concerned about it at all. Of course, we are...a little.

Miss anything? Bending over and keeping up with my kids. I already don't want to do much because I get Braxton Hicks and just need to rest a lot. I just don't remember feeling this way, this soon. I still have 15 weeks so I'm a little nervous about what is to come.

Movement? Yes. Michael has been able to feel them a couple of times now. Baby boy has an anterior placenta so I don't feel him as much or as strongly. I wish I knew which one was moving. I have a really hard time figuring out who is moving. Most of the time I assume I'm feeling baby girl because the movements are high. Right now they are both transverse and baby girl is on top and baby boy is on bottom.

Food cravings? Not craving much right now. I did crave a cinnamon roll and drove all the way to Thanksgiving Point because the Maverick gas station has a Cinnabon station inside. It was so good and Sam agreed. Totally worth it.

Anything make you queasy or sick? I'm not nauseous too often but I still do throw-up almost every morning because of an overactive gag reflex. I'm really over that part.

Labor signs? No. Braxton Hicks a lot. I try to drink a lot of water as soon as I get up. That seems to help keep the Braxton Hicks at bay. Hoping these babies don't show up until after March 23rd. 15 more weeks!

Gender?  Boy and Girl!

Symptoms? Heartburn and reflux are the biggest culprits. I just eat small meals and try to stay away from things that I know will make it worse. Chocolate, applesauce, soda.

Happy or Moody? Mostly happy. Just very tired. I get anxious trying to figure out what our life will like in 3 months. We are trying to figure out if we are moving or staying. For now we are staying put. We love where we live and space will be an issue but we are going to try and make it work until we can figure out where we will be financially. I'm not sure what working will look like for me after these babies get here. We are hoping to stay until Michael is done with his Masters program in a couple of years.

Looking forward to...? Deciding on names! Oh my gosh, it's been so hard this time! We have lots of names we "like" but not "love". Nothing seems to be jumping out at me. I can't wait to stop calling them baby boy and baby girl. Also, looking forward to Christmas! The holidays seem to make the weeks go by faster and Michael has a nice break from school so we will be focusing on doing fun stuff with our kiddos and getting some projects done around the house.

36 Weeks...Tick, Tock

Here's a fun little comparison. I will try and snap some pictures this week. I kind of want to be the girl on the left. Her eyes are smiling and she is feeling the joy you ought to be feeling when you're 37 weeks pregnant.

How far along? 36 weeks

Total weight gain: 21lbs! It's crazy how I tried to not put on too much weight with Sam and gained 30 lbs and I tried like crazy to gain at least that much and it's been difficult to put it on. 

Sleep? I can't believe I'm saying this but I have been sleeping better the last week than I have in months. It's still not great but so much better. Elena dropped and I feel like I can breathe better, my reflux is better, and I generally have more energy. Don't let this fool you into thinking I feel "good" but I definitely feel better. Getting a better nights rest really helps. I'm still up a couple of night to pee and to flip over. Not roll over. Flip over...like a fish. One swift motion.

Best moment of the week?  I am overwhelmed with the love, support, and kindness we have been shown over this pregnancy but especially over the last few weeks. I have been a little resistant to accepting help because I am still working; i.e. not on bed rest and I guess it's just in ones nature to have a "I can do everything" attitude. I definitely can't do it all and have been grateful for the help. This past week, the Relief Society organized babysitting everyday for Sam (which I attribute to having more energy) and left a "Love Box" on our porch. It's a box that people can come and drop off anything they want. We have had something everyday from toys for Sam to treats to notes of encouragement and love.

Miss anything? Me. I miss me. Honestly, I'm not in a great place right now. I am afraid. I'm about to deliver these girls and I'm terrified. The anxiety has set in and we just can't plan anything from now on. I should be overcome with joy but instead all I feel is dread and I cry over anything. How am I supposed to do this? I wish there was an instruction manual to tell me what I'm supposed to do and how the finish product will look. Sometimes I don't know how I am going to survive this?

Movement? Yes. They are running out of room and I can't feel Cora sometimes which of course stresses me out. She is very deep against my spine (that feels wonderful!) and she's tiny so I don't feel her like I feel Elena.

Food cravings? Just chocolate. I have been trying to eat as much as I can the last couple of weeks to put some weight on these girls. They will be small, especially Cora, who was estimated at 3 lbs. a couple of weeks ago. Elena was just over 5 lbs. I'm hoping for 3.5 lbs and 6 lbs. 

Anything make you queasy or sick? No. My reflux is actually better now that Elena has dropped and I can't believe how much better I feel! Thank you, Miss B.

Labor signs? Lots of contractions! Lots. But who knows if they are doing much. My OB checked me at 34 weeks (ouch!) and I was 60% effaced and not dilated, which was good at 34 weeks. I'm ready now. I will see on Monday if these contractions have been working their magic. Fingers crossed...I would really rather go on my own than be induced. I have been really worried this past week that I wasn't going to make it to 36 weeks and my doctor was also out of town for a couple days and I really want him to be there. After all this anxiety, I will probably need to be induced. I just don't feel like it will happen on it's own in the next 5 days. We'll see.

Gender?  My sweet girls. Cora Lynn and Elena Kate.

Symptoms? A little reflux, heartburn, contractions.

Happy or Moody? Very moody. I feel bad for Michael because I feel like I have been snappy with him. You always hurt the ones you love most, huh? I'm am so on edge and I feel like I have no control over anything anymore. It's making me a little crazy. Sorry, Michael.

Looking forward to...? Being done working. Yes, I'm still working. It is really hard but I'm managing. I have two more shifts this week and then I'm done. I was concerned about going into labor last week but these upcoming shifts are welcome to speed things up so I will do my best to make it through them.

Realization of the week? These girls will be here in 6 days or less! It will be the longest 6 days of my life. Each day that goes by, the more scared I am of Cora passing away. There are some fetal conditions that babies do better inside the womb but these Trisomy 18 babies aren't necessarily safer inside. She is just as likely to pass away now as she is when she's born, especially at this later stage. Her growth has really slowed (measuring almost 5 weeks behind now) and she has developed a cardiac arrhythmia (irregular heart beat). We just don't know how well she will do until she's born. Statistically, she won't have long.

I really can't believe we are here sometimes. Can this really be happening? My prayer is that Cora will live long enough for us to say hello and goodbye and that we may find peace in all this. I'm trying not to be afraid because faith and fear can not coexist. I have faith that God can perform miracles and our miracle would be that we can have a little time with Cora.

34 Weeks...

How far along? 34.3 weeks

Total weight gain: Back up to 19lbs...another official weigh in tomorrow.

Sleep? No. As I was admitting that the last two nights haven't been too bad except waking up to pee a few times, the next night was the worst ever. I just couldn't get comfortable. My belly is so heavy that laying on my side pulls at my back. No amount of pillows will really solve this problem. I'm never comfortable for too long, sleeping or awake.

Best moment of the week?  I'm really trying to stay positive. Really. My mom and dad arrived...for good. Still emotional about them selling their house in California but I'm thrilled they are around forever. It's a wonderful thing to have your family near by. We will just be missing my brother, Collin. Hopefully he will visit often.

Miss anything? Sleep and being comfortable (see above). I'm pretty much never comfortable. Sitting, standing, laying down. It doesn't matter. People tell me I'm still relatively small for having twins at almost 35 weeks but it's deceiving. My belly is super heavy and pulls every which way. The girls are also running out of room so they jab my in all sorts of places. That doesn't always feel good.

Movement? Yes. I do love feeling them move. I know I will miss it. I'm really trying to enjoy every movement, even though it doesn't feel great all the time. I've heard of babies waking their moms at night. That doesn't happen to me. Thanks, girls!

Food cravings? Reese's Easter eggs and Cadbury mini eggs. Yum! I can't eat them all the time because my heartburn and reflux makes me lose my appetite. Also, Honeycrisp apples. They are these incredibly expensive breed of apple but they are huge and yummy! I usually only buy 2-3 at time because of the $3.99/lb price tag.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Heartburn, reflux and vomiting...oh, my! Mechanically, my stomach and esophagus just doesn't work right now. I have to stick to small meals and food that comes back up nicely. I haven't been vomiting everyday but I do have to fight it when I eat a little too much.

Labor signs? Umm, I think so? I contract all the time, resting or not. I guess we will see tomorrow if they are doing anything. The babies have not dropped. I have not lost my plug. My contractions are not regular or painful.  I didn't get to go into labor with Sam so I have no idea what to expect as far as going into labor goes. Regardless, I really don't think it will be much longer. I would put money on somewhere between the 36th-37th week. If I don't go before the 28th, I will be induced. I would much rather go on my own and I'm hoping to hold out until 36 weeks. Either way, we are close!

Gender?  My sweet girls. Cora Lynn and Elena Kate.

Symptoms? Reflux, heartburn, pain. The usual.

Happy or Moody? Emotional. Very emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat but I also am experiencing a fair amount of joy. I can't wait to meet these girls! It's not all tears of sadness. I'm also anxious for the delivery and all the many scenarios that may take place regarding Cora. We just don't know how she will do. We are still praying for a miracle.

Looking forward to...? Being done working. It's getting pretty hard to work a 12 hour shift. Everyone at work is so great. They really try to make it easy on me and I really appreciate it.

Realization of the week? Less than 2.5 weeks, tops! I am so looking forward to meeting these girls! I can't wait to see Sam as a big brother (poor boy won't know what hit him). I'm already so in love with these babies. I still can't believe I'm having girls. Setting up the nursery was surreal with all the little dresses and bows. It still hasn't quite sunk in. 

32 Weeks!

How far along? 32.5 weeks

Total weight gain: 17lbs down from 19lbs. At least I gained back two lbs from when I was sick. I have to eat much smaller meals now or I throw-up.

Sleep? Not good and I don't anticipate it getting better. I sit up for a good hour because laying down just hurts. I wake-up at least three times a night to pee and I have to get situated all over again. I long for the daylight most mornings because it's one day closer to D-day and although I won't be sleeping much then either, hopefully when I am sleeping, it won't hurt so much.

Best moment of the week?  Feeling  much better! I'm so happy to not feel like I am dying. I read that a pregnant woman in California died of the flu. I'm glad I read that after I was feeling better because it would have totally freaked me out. I really thought I was headed that way. Also, the nursery is getting close to being done. That makes me happy. I've hit the nesting phase now that I feel better (not that I can do much) and I feel pretty overwhelmed with what needs to be done still.

Miss anything?  I miss my un-pregnant body. Oh, I completely underestimated how hard it would to be pregnant with twins. I try not to complain because I am so blessed to be pregnant with these girls but it hurts and I can't do much. I miss playing with Sam (I hope he will forgive his mama for being a total bore). I can't take him anywhere anymore. It takes too much out of me and I contract like crazy.

Movement? Yes. They move all the time. I still can't feel Cora as much even though I know she moves all the time. Elena is head down and will make her exit first and Cora is actually transverse (no wonder it hurts so much). She may stay that way but my doctor says it's not a problem and that as long as Elena stays head down, I can still have a vaginal birth.

Food cravings? Reese's Easter eggs...the big ones or small ones but only the eggs. The Reese's minis or regular size are definitely not the same. I don't always eat them though. Like I said, food is not a friend to me. If I eat too much at a time, I will throw-up. It's all mechanical. I just don't have room and my reflux is pretty bad but controlled with Zantac and Tums.

Anything make you queasy or sick? I pretty much throw-up everyday just because these babies are crowding my stomach and my reflux gets away from me sometimes. Sam has pretty much gotten the wrong idea about what the toilet is for. He goes into the bathroom and lifts the seat and pretends like he throwing-up! And when I do, he tries to push me out of the way to join me. I love him!

Labor signs? If I do too much, I contract. My doctor said it's okay as long as it stops when I rest. I can't even carry a laundry basket without contracting. Sam and I push the laundry baskets up and down the hall. He loves it. Don't let that fool you into thinking my house is even kind of clean. I can manage to do the dishes if I do them fast then I have to sit down. When I go to the grocery store, I have to ride on one of their "jazzy carts". They are life saver! I haven't worked (yes, I'm still working) since it's gotten really bad so we will see what happens with that.

Gender?  My sweet girls. Cora Lynn and Elena Kate.

Symptoms? Reflux, rib pain, not sleeping, usual aches and pains. Oh the joys.

Happy or Moody? Emotional, very emotional. The close it gets to D-day, which is closer than I probably realize, the more I cry. I cry everyday which hasn't been the norm. I am nervous for delivery since I haven't experienced labor before . I'm so excited to meet these girls but it scary knowing that delivering them means the time we have with Cora is limited. I have such mixed emotions about delivery. The closer it gets, the more scared I get we are going to lose Cora. Everyday inside of me is another day she could die and we won't meet her alive. We picked out a plot for her this past weekend which was surreal. I've said it before, no mother should have to be planning a funeral while her child moves inside her. 

Looking forward to...? Finishing the nursery and getting this house in order. I can't wait until everything is in it's place again. We are still trying to organize the basement and shifting baby stuff around i.e. converting Sam's room into more of big boy room. Although, we are keeping him in his crib for now. I'm not ready for him to have that much freedom yet! I'm also looking forward to my parents being here, for good! They will be here next week and I can't wait. They sold their house in California and that has made me more emotional than I would have ever thought. Even thinking about it right now makes me tear up. But, I'm excited they will be so close and hope their transition goes smoothly.

Realization of the week? We are closer than I had thought. At my appointment this week, we talked about induction and it will probably be closer to 37 weeks than 38 which puts us at March 28th-ish. We went back and forth but after all of that, he told us he didn't think I would even make it that far. He said he would be surprised if I went past 36 weeks. That's just a little over three weeks away! Stress. I'm down to weekly appointments and NSTs and scheduled the rest of my appointments until 37 weeks. There were only four. That's how close we are.

31 Weeks!

How far along? 31.2 weeks

Total weight gain: 15lbs down from 19lbs. I will get an official measurement at my appointment next week. I'm pretty sure I've lost 3-4lbs in the last two weeks being sick. I couldn't eat much and then about a week into it, I couldn't keep anything down. Horrible.

Sleep? Sleep is something that I think I may have to say goodbye to for a long while. I just started feeling better a few days ago and I have been sleeping better since then but I have so many aches and pains at night. I pulled muscles in my ribs from coughing and it really hurts to lay on either side right now. My hips are very sore at night as well so sick or healthy, I don't think I will be sleeping well from here on out.

Best moment of the week?  The morning I woke up feeling slightly better! Michael was so excited to see my increase of energy that he wanted to do a bunch of fun stuff but I'm definitely not 100%. He is still overestimating how well I feel. I'm attempting to go back to work tonight for the first time in over 2 weeks even though I feel like I could use one more day. But I really am so grateful to finally be feeling better. I have never been so sick for so long.

Miss anything?  Not coughing! The cough has been the worst part of this flu. I have a feeling I will be coughing for long time to come and my ribs are still so sore from it. I also miss food. For the last two weeks I have been selecting my food based on how easily it would come back up. Lots of soups and soft foods. I'm glad I have started getting my sense of taste back. It makes eating a lot more enjoyable.

Movement? Yes. Despite thinking that this flu is killing them (I know it's not), they haven't really slowed down. I think Cora has flipped a couple of times and I'm curious to see if she still breech. Last time I checked her heartbeat, she was.

Food cravings? Just craving to be able to taste and that is finally coming back. Still don't have a huge appetite and I'm trying to be careful of food making me feel sick or triggering my reflux. When I got my sense of taste back, I really wanted sparkling apple cider so I ran out and got some. Just that trip to the store took everything out of me.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Just being sick has made me queasy and sick. I haven't thrown up in 2 days so that is a win for everyone. Sam has gotten used to me throwing up now. He didn't like to see me throw up at first but now he always comes in the bathroom and scoots me to the side so he can spit in the toilet too. What a weirdo. I love him.

Labor signs? No. My doctor has had to reassure me that babies are very resilient and this flu is affecting me more than it's affecting them. I had to go to L&D and get fluids and supportive care and the babies looked great. They almost admitted me but I opted to stick it out at home and come back for more fluids if needed.

Gender?  My sweet girls. Cora Lynn and Elena Kate.

Symptoms? Reflux, rib pain, not sleeping, usual aches and pains. Oh the joys.

Happy or Moody? Moody. Having the flu for 2 weeks will do that to you. I had two legitimate melt downs about being sick. Sobs because of feeling like I will never be healthy again.

Looking forward to...? Finishing the nursery. It's cleaned out and almost done being painted. We still need to paint the crib and get a dresser and chair so we have a ways to go. People keep telling me not to worry about it getting done because babies don't really need their own space. True, but I'm not really wanting to worry about anything like that after they are born. I just want to focus on what is happening and snuggle my babies. Plus, their clothes and diapers are currently in bags and boxes on the floor. Not ideal.

Realization of the week? We are super close. 6-7 weeks left. Sounds like an eternity to a largely pregnant woman but it's not really that far. I'm hoping it's that long still. We are so not ready for them to come anytime soon. We have too much to do still.

Hopefully I will get around to taking a picture. My wardrobe has been pajama bottoms and over sized shirts and my hair needs some serious attention. Not really excited to get in front of a camera.

29 Weeks...

How far along? 29.4 weeks

Total weight gain: 19lbs. Not too bad. I thought it would be more but I really don't eat nearly as much as I should but I'm not worried since they are monitored so closely and gaining weight appropriately.

Sleep? Sleep? What is that? I would probably be sleeping a little better if we weren't deathly ill in this house. Between Sam and I, no one is sleeping.

Best moment of the week?  My baby shower! My friend, Joy, and my sisters put together a beautiful, girly shower for our girls. There was a head band making station and beautiful memory books people could write in. I was not as emotional as I thought I would be but it definitely was surreal. I don't think it has sunk in that I'm having two girls. I've been in boy mode for so long and I haven't bought anything yet so opening all the girly clothes was a trip for me. It did make me a little sad knowing Cora may not get to enjoy all the beautiful, pink things she got but they are hers and I like knowing that even though they are just "things", they belong to her.

Miss anything?  Being healthy. Oh, I thought I was miserable before being sick. This is horrible. I'm currently fighting the flu and Sam is too. I've been praying for Michael to stay healthy and so far, so good. So much for flu shots.

Movement? Yes. Wiggly little girls. Seriously, they never stop. Last appointment they were both head down and now Cora is breech again. The little monkey had better flip again.

Food cravings? I wish I could eat anything at all. I have ZERO appetite right now being sick. I force myself to choke something down even though I can't taste it.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope. I'm lucky this illness is all respiratory and nothing to do with GI. That would be truly unbearable.

Labor signs? No. Although, I've had to have my doctor reassure me that my water can't break or my uterus rupture from coughing. I really think I pulled a muscle in my belly from coughing.

Gender?  My sweet girls. Cora Lynn and Elena Kate.

Symptoms? The usual aches and pains. I'm never completely comfortable. I always said that if I was ever fortunate to get pregnant, I would NEVER complain. Well, I complain...a lot. I feel bad when I do but it is so hard on the body to carry two babies. I can't breathe well, my body aches, and I don't sleep well. I think I finally have my heartburn under control. I started taking Zantac and that has really helped. A couple of facts about my body...my belly button has popped out. It never did pop out with Sam's pregnancy but it definitely has with this one. I also found my first stretch mark (ever) this week. I was pretty traumatized. It's a doozy. I never got any with Sam and assumed that I never would. At 29 weeks and a bit more to grow, I'm terrified for what's to come.

Happy or Moody? Moody mostly. It's just the sickness. I can't wait to feel better. Happy my girls are still with us and happy that we have another week under our belt.

Looking forward to...?  Being in the thirties. I feel like we have been in the twenties forever!  

Realization of the week? We are in the single digits on the countdown! Only 8-9 weeks left! The plan is to get me to 38 weeks and then we will be meeting these girls! I will be induced on 4/4/14 if I don't go on my own by then. Things are looking great for a vaginal delivery. It appears Elena (baby B) is going to make her entrance first which is favorable since she is bigger and will be able to fully dilate me. They were both head down at my last appointment which they said was unlikely to change at this point but I went back this week because of this flu and Cora had flipped again. She is small so I'm not surprised. Hopefully she will flip again soon and stay put.

29 weeks

23 & 24 Weeks...

23 weeks

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain? I think around 12lbs. It's going good. I'm not so concerned about the lack of weight gain now since they are monitored so closely.

Sleep? Not great, to be honest. I almost don't look forward to bed time (almost). I just can't lay on one side for very long so I wake-up every couple of hours to pee and turn over. It takes me a few minutes to get in a comfy position again. If I go over 2 hours without turning over, it's a great night but I wake-up sore from being in the same position for too long. I have to say my husband is one of a kind. Despite him having to get up early to go to work, he insists on getting up with Sam if he wakes up which has happened a lot lately. Poor kid has gotten 6 new teeth in the last couple of weeks including all four one-year molars (ouch!).

Best moment of the week?  Christmas! What a great day! We kept things really simple and had lots of fun just being together. It was fun to play Santa even though Sam doesn't really get it yet. He was still really excited to see all the presents under the tree in the morning.

Miss anything?  Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

Movement? Yes! I've been so relieved to be able to feel them consistently. I am also starting to be able to tell them apart. That is also a relief. I have been afraid of going to an ultrasound and seeing that Baby A has left us and not even knowing it. I think I will be able to tell now if she hasn't moved. I have read that Trisomy 18 babies don't move very much in utero. This is not true for our girl. They are BOTH monkeys! I swear for three days straight, they didn't sleep because they were constantly moving! I talk to them when I first feel them it the morning. I say 'good morning' and tell them what we are going to do that day.

Food cravings? No cravings. I've enjoyed all the holiday goodies and the guilt free gorging. However, "goring" for me is pretty pathetic for a 24 week pregnant lady. I just cannot eat very much in one sitting and have to remind myself to eat.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Just reflux will occasionally be so bad that I have a hard time keeping it down. Pizza still makes me have reflux so bad that I throw-up. I think it's it the acidic tomato sauce. I avoid all things like that. My bottle of Tums is my best friend right now.

Labor signs? No and I'm not having as many Braxton Hicks anymore which is a relief. At my last ultrasound, the tech said my cervix was miles long. That made me happy. They last I need to be worrying about is preterm labor and bed rest. It makes me feel a bit more easy that I have technically reached "viability", although, I don't want them to come any time soon. It's just nice to know that if anything happens, they could survive. Every week from now on is gravy.

Gender?  My sweet girls. We finally have names which I will announce in my next post.

Symptoms? Heartburn, can't breath, can't get comfortable. 

Happy or Moody? Trying to be happy. I am happy. Writing things down helps but it always brings me back to reality. It's just so hard accept this. Sam makes me happy. The time I have with these girls makes me happy. Michael makes me happy. I still cry a least once a day but I think I'm more happy than I am sad.

Looking forward to...?  Our next visit with Angel Watch. I will write about our Angel Watch visit next time. It was very bittersweet and it is a wonderful program.

Realization of the week? Only 3 months until these girls come (hopefully not sooner). That sounds like an eternity to someone who feels like they are ready to pop but I'm expecting it to fly by. I feel like I have been stuck at the same gestation for a month. I think it's because when we found out at 20 weeks about our baby girl, time stopped in our world.

Weeks 20 & 21

22 weeks

How far along? 21 weeks

Total weight gain? I think around 10 lbs now. Half way there and still haven't gained as much as I did with Sam. It's a steady weight gain though. 

Sleep? Despite everything going on, I have had a couple of really great night . Only one potty break and not a lot of tossing and turning. I know I dream still but forget them quickly when I wake up.

Best moment of the week?  I can't honestly say that I can think of anything as a great moment. I have little moments of realization of how blessed I am. My little Sam can always bring a smile to my face. Another great moment was when Michael finally felt the girls for the first time. I hope he can feel them daily now so he can start to connect with our girls.

Miss anything?  When life was simpler? When life was blissful? I know I am being a downer but so many times this week I was wishing to go back to about week 14 when we thought everything was going to be okay. Blissful ignorance. That's what I miss.

Movement? Yes! They have both been head down and now they both have flipped to breech. I have been kicked where I have never been kicked before. Sam was always head down so I never got the pleasure of experiencing being kicked in the nether regions. Not surprising, I don't feel baby girl A as easily as her sister. She is much smaller and I fear that she is falling even more behind. Once in a while, I will distinctly feel her and it makes me happy and relieved. I am so scared she is going to pass away and I won't know it.

Food cravings? None this week. I have had to force myself to eat. I really have liked applesauce lately but don't have any on hand. I eat it at work. I try to up my calories but it's really hard when you have no appetite.

Anything make you queasy or sick? No. I have really felt pretty good physically. The heartburn is setting in big time. That was my biggest challenge with Sam and I have a feeling it's only going to get worse.

Labor signs? No, but having a lot of Braxton Hicks. I told my doctor about them and he said it's normal because having two babies will cause a lot more growing pains. As long they are not regular I should be fine. I have been trying to increase my water intake and that has seemed to help.

Gender?  My sweet girls. We are so close to nailing down names. We are so bad with names. Our names have to sink in before they stick. We are getting more and more anxious about them not being named under the circumstances.

Symptoms? Peeing at night, heartburn, and back pain. The back pain has been a little better in the last couple of days but I've had a few days off so it will start all over again when I work another shift.

Happy or Moody? Oh man. How do I answer this question? I just read what I wrote at 18 weeks and I want to cry. We will not be bringing home both our girls. How can that not make me moody? I have had some good days since finding out. I have had a couple of really bad days. Yesterday was particularly rough for no reason. I just woke up feeling like my world had been shattered. I couldn't wait for the day to be over because the next day had to be better. I understand a lot of about grief. I know grief is not linear. You don't move from one step to the other and never move back so that is all to be expected. I just long for those happy days. Today was much better but after I put my Sammy to bed, I felt the heaviness starting to weigh on my chest and I have been fighting it ever since.

Looking forward to...?  Being happy. I'm terrified I may never be truly happy again. I do have faith that everything will be okay but how? How is it going to be okay when she is not here with her sister? I know we will find our new normal but what is that going to be? We struggled for so long to have our children and finally found joy and peace. Now, I'm afraid our new normal will be devoid of true peace. I pray this isn't true.

Realization of the week? A real downer of a post this week. I realized we probably won't be bringing both girls home. I went into the room that will be their room and saw their car seats. I lost it. I just can't believe this is happening. Our greatest hope and prayer is that she is born alive and hangs on for her sister's sake. We would be so grateful to have any time with her alive. That is our prayer.

26 & 27 weeks...Hello 3rd Trimester!

26 weeks

27 weeks

How far along? 27 weeks exactly!  Hello 3rd trimester...it's good to see you!

Total weight gain?  14lbs+. I'm curious to see if I have lost weight since last month. I am not eating non-stop like I was on the cruise. We will see on Wednesday.

Maternity clothes?  Yes. Definitely on the bottom. My regular shirts are getting too short and my belly hangs out of a couple pair of scrubs so it's looking like it will have to be all maternity soon.

Sleep? Heartburn has woken me up a few times this week and of course the potty breaks 2-3x a night. That is getting old.  

Best moment of the week?  We are finished painting! Now we can start putting stuff in the room as we collect it. The walls aren't done since we are putting vinyl on them but the hard part is done. I'm excited to get it finished.  Shouldn't be long now! Also, seeing him on ultrasound again. I love that. He is so big! He was estimated to be almost 2lbs at 25.5 weeks!

Miss anything?  My brain! I used to roll my eyes when women made the excuse of pregnancy brain but it is a real thing!! I was laughable at work the other day...so not safe!

Movement? All the time and I'm loving it! I had one night when he wasn't moving so much and it had me worried. The next morning I was talking to him and trying to get him to move and finally he did and didn't stop for two days! I guess I am supposed to be starting kick counts soon? I don't know?

Food cravings? Yes. I realized that I crave donuts all the time but I rarely indulge. I had one this week because it was National Donut Day and figured that was a good excuse. It was yummy! I haven't had one since before that last weigh in! I also have been craving Einstein Bagel Tasty Turkey sandwiches. I had three this week and Einstein's is not close to me. I've been thirsty all the time too.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope. I feel great!

Labor signs? No, keep on cookin' little boy! 

Gender?  Still boy which was reconfirmed for the third time during the ultrasound.

Symptoms? Heartburn and reflux!! Big time! I've also failed to mention certain symptoms/changes. Early in the first trimester I noticed hair on my belly. It's just blonde peach fuzz but there is definitely a trail. It's funny, I haven't noticed my hair being any more luscious or thicker and I swear pregnancy is making my leg hair grow slower which is saying something for me.  I don't grow leg hair as it is. I haven't shaved since April! I also have hips for the first time in my life. Michael says he can't tell but they have spread (and probably have some extra padding on them too)! My belly button is a little more shallow. Michael actually pointed it out since he loves to stick his finger in my belly button (which drives me crazy). It is definitely still an innie but it's flattening out.

Happy or Moody? Happy!! It's getting so close!

Looking forward to...?  My doctor's appointment on Wednesday, finishing the baby room, and my shower in California! I can't wait until the room comes together and all I want is a beach, the ocean, and a good book.

Realization of the week? Third trimester!! This kid could be here sooner rather than later. So, my placenta didn't move. I was crossing my fingers that it would be high, high, high but it didn't budge from week 19.5. The tech and my doctor changed their attitude about it and aren't so optimistic about it moving anymore. I guess the chances of it moving in the 3rd trimester are really slim.  My doctor said we will talk about a c-section next appointment, which will be scheduled at 37 weeks. I was really upset when he said that. I'm getting more used to the idea but I desperately want to have natural, vaginal birth. People have been telling me the perks of c-section but it doesn't make me any less disappointed. There is an experience that I was looking forward to and I won't even be allowed to know what labor feels like. I've heard a lot of women say their placenta moved at 30+ weeks so I'm still praying but I of course I will do everything to keep him safe. So, if I do have a c-section, we will meet him in 10 weeks!! Yikes! That is soon!

24 weeks...

24 weeks 0 days

 How far along? 24 weeks, 3 days
Total weight gain? OH, MY! Dang that cruise!! I gained a ridiculous amount of weight this month, I don't even want to put it in writing. I have only gained about 1 lb. every doctor appointment so far. It's all catching up with me I guess. I'm hoping that because of the cruise, it will all kind of even out in the end. 
Maternity clothes?  I am wearing maternity bottoms. I am mixing in some shirts too. It's all so much more comfy than regular clothes.
Sleep? Still sleeping well. I am loving my Snoogle. I am finding I'm needing a little extra support under my belly and the Snoogle is the best for that. 
Best moment of the week?  Michael got his cast off!! Things seem to be getting back to normal and he so much happier. Also, Michael and I laying in bed and watching my belly move. That is so fun! I think baby boy is recognizing Michael's voice. He will talk to him and he starts to wiggle all around. I love it!!
Miss anything?  My appetite. I'm still hungry all the time but I seem to be back in the nothing-sounds-good phase and it's annoying. I'm trying to get back on track after the cruise and detoxing a little (eating more salads, etc.) I feel like I am lacking protein because it doesn't sound good. I am trying to make more smoothies...even though it doesn't sound good. 
Movement?  YES!! Crazy little man! I love it! I love watching my belly move and it's fun to feel him higher and higher in my belly. He is a wiggle worm!
Food cravings?  No. Like I said, nothing sounds good so I'm trying to eat better. Fruit sounds good sometimes but I can't live off fruit.
Anything make you queasy or sick? No, I'm feeling great for the most part.
Labor signs? No, keep on cookin'!
Gender?  BOY! 
Symptoms? Heartburn is a real thing! I am controlling it pretty well. I started taking Pepcid everyday and that has helped. My dad swears by apple cider vinegar but I haven't had a chance to go get some yet. I also thought I was getting a ton of stretch marks all over my belly and it freaked me out. Fortunately, it turned out to be a rash. No stretch marks yet...finger crossed!!
Happy or Moody? Happy! Things are finally getting back to normal in our house and we are slowly getting the nursery cleaned out. We are also picking out paint which I don't love. I am not good at it.
Looking forward to...?  My ultrasound next week. I am anxious to see if my placenta has moved. It would be nice to be off the restrictions. Also, I get to see my little man again! I can't wait to see how he has grown in 7 weeks!!
Realization of the week? Only 15 weeks to go! How did that happen?? I remember how quickly the first 15 weeks went so it's exciting to think how little time we have left before we meet this little man. I am a planner so I am antsy to get the nursery going and finish the small projects we have to do on the house.